For the past four summers I have worked at a local “mom and pop” ice cream parlour on the Jersey Shore. No, not Snooki’s Jersey Shore with a whole lot of “situations,” but rather the pleasant, peaceful, private Jersey shore where families enjoy relaxation, and ice cream, together for a few months or a few weeks depending on whether they own or rent a summer home.
For those of us who have spent our summers on the Jersey shore almost our entire lives, it’s more than just fist pumps, and hookups, and bar fights. Actually, it’s none of the above. Truthfully it’s mini golf, barbeques, and nightly trips to the ice cream shop.
Once I started college and my years of summer camp ended, it was time to get a job. So I applied to work at the ice cream parlour I’d been waiting in line at since I was 9 years old. When I was hired that first summer, I was ecstatic; not only about having a job, but also about being in college. Summer reading lists that I created for myself, new friends in a new location, and the freedom that every teenager dreams about upon turning 18. Little did I know that scooping ice cream could make me want to scream.
First of all, there is a choice to be made. At the parlour that I work at, there are many different ways to eat ice cream; who knew? Of course you can have it in a cup, but then you must decide whether you want a small or a large. And no, we do not have a “kiddie” size because then that’s all that anyone would ever order. On a different note, you could always have a cone. However, there are three types of cones: sugar, wafer, and a waffle. These cones have existed forever, so it’s no surprise that a “regular” cone is not on the menu; oh, wait, if I had a dollar every time someone asks for a “regular” cone I’d be filthy rich! Let’s not even get into milkshakes, special sundaes, or floats yet. With this abundance of options one would think that everyone could find something that they would like. One would not expect that ordering an ice cream dessert could be such an ordeal. One would be wrong on both accounts.
I would like to know: if you can’t decide how to order ice cream, then what decisions can you make in life? More often than not, we’ll have people come up to the counter and say something like, “I’ll have the mint chocolate chip;” at which point we respond with the gateway question: cup or cone? This question, I kid you not, shocks people. I always wonder if they expected us to serve it into their hands when they look at us with the “fly trap,” our term for the open-mouthed “uhhhhhh” sound we hear more frequently than “thank you.” This decision between a cup and a cone might be the hardest one they’ve had to make all day at the beach, and they are just not up to that challenge; how dare we!
Granted, maybe I’m not giving these people or our parlour the benefit of the doubt. Maybe back at home, their ice cream shop does not provide the variety of options that we do; maybe at home they just say their ice cream choice and it shows up in a cup a few seconds later without a second thought. But is everything in their lives that simple? Is ordering ice cream the most demanding task in their lives?
Kids are, for obvious reasons, easy, as their parents order for them at this stage. However, things can get tricky when the parents begin to give their children responsibility and the freedom to make their own choices at an early age. Either the child orders with their eyes rather than their stomach, or they come to a standstill and cannot make up their mind at all. Here is when the parent usually yells at the child no matter what the response is: “why did you get something so big, you’re never going to eat it all,” or the classic “just pick something already.” In the first scenario, the duel has been thrown and the child looks at his or her decision with determined eyes, ready to devour the entirety of their food to prove to the parent that they can make their own choices. In the second case, the child usually just starts to tear up retorting with “but I can’t,” and forcing the parent’s hand to step in and take over the situation. Parents, here’s my advice: you know you don’t want your kid to have the giant bowl of ice cream with four toppings, you know they can’t eat the ice cream quickly enough for a cone, you know that making a decision is going to take a while, so why not save you and me the frustration and have a game plan before you come in? Or, maybe you don’t know all of this about your child, and maybe that says something too?
What boggles my mind more than this, though, is when the adults finally order and we have to ask them the same questions that we asked their kids! I’m sorry, were you paying attention when you repeated everything I said to your child, or did you just think that finding out what to put your ice cream in only applied to people shorter than my waist? Why is it so difficult to state your decision clearly? Why does it always feel like pulling teeth, which actually might be easier than this decision after all of the ice cream eaten on vacation?
For all of you who are trying to make the excruciating decision between a cup and a cone in life, here are the major differences you need to consider:
- One is easier to multitask with, as it only requires one hand
- One has a sturdier foundation, thereby affording it more fun things on top
- One is more difficult to balance and therefore might give you more trouble in the long run
- One has a restriction that it must be eaten with a spoon, or else you will never get to the bottom.
So what’s more important to you in the scheme of things, what drives your decision-making process? If we have to make a pro-con list for ordering ice cream, I don’t want to be there when you are buying a car or making a move to a new city. Let’s put things into perspective here, your ice cream order is not the end of the world. So just go with your instincts, because with ice cream you can always change your mind tomorrow and try something else. That’s the beauty about everything, there’s always tomorrow to make a new decision if today didn’t go as well as planned.
Still Screaming
